Relax

I seem to have a slice of the old me recently. To think I used to be so relaxed, so chilled and so happy. What changed me? what is it that had caused me to become such a short fused, rushed stress head?

Maybe its the fact that business has been so poor lately even though I'm working flat out. maybe it's the family drama I'm going through.  I used to take pleasure in being a stroller... my friends said I didn't walk, I stroll like an old man. I was just enjoying my own pace of life, stopping every now and then and take my camera out of my pocket to take random photos. All I seem to do lately is rush... I often think "isn't hong kong suppose to be such a fast paced city? why the hell is everyone getting in my way? Get the f**k outta my way before I shove you down those stairs" Aggressive I know... i shock my self most of the time.

I know I've planned this all along, but i think i really do have to get my butt in gear and find a proper job soon. Not just because of the bad money although that is a big factor. It seems me being a freelancer mean i have no proof of income to have my very own place. I've lived in 8 addresses in the past 9 years. I really want to have a place to call home.

I'm hoping having a regular job would finally let me to relax once again. being a nervous designer I'm constantly thinking about work. Thinking about what i need to do. the clients i should follow up on. Comparing that to my old job in London, where I made sure I left by 6.30 at the very latest to go on and do all the things I love, seeing all my good friends. the life now kinda sucks. The heat doesn't help my temper either. Oh well, let see how it goes. I really would like to be that laid back, happy me again.