It's not about work, it's about life

There's something about HK, ever since I've been back my career had been a much bigger subject in my life. Maybe it's what the most exciting city of the east does to you, or maybe it how being freelance changes you.
 A week ago, i was asked if I would like to do a course to be PT instructor and that got me thinking about ditching design again. I won't go into the details again, the short story is. I ended up asking myself and my friends on facebook should I:

A) Get real and live a proper life, ditch this unstable, long hours freelance design and get a proper 9 to 5

B) Stick to freelance, be my own boss and try my hands in the world of sports and fitness by being a fitness instructor

A very surprising number of people suggested B) and after much thought I too had decided to give this Personal Trainer business a go. My arguement for doing so was much like the reason why I first thought about coming back to HK - I'm young and i don't want to have regrets, if worst comes to worst, i would have wasted the course fee for something I enjoy.  To be honest, i never really thought of myself as normal, i know to some degree no one think they are normal and we certainly unique in our own ways, but I rather like the fact that I'm not sticking to the rules society is setting me AND not to mention the fact I've always been an awkward child and a bit of a freak (which I'm actually kinda proud of)

So why all the fuss about what to do? well, I knew very early on I wanted to be sucessful, now that could be the chinese family in a foreign country thing. I've always knew I need to do something with mylife, so in a way work is not purely about what to get food on the table. it's also about what i'll make out of myself. A side from being an awkward weirdo who likes a bit of pain (too much information?) I also have very little patientces and I hate the fact that i could be wasting time developing myself in one way or another by doing something that might be mean anything. Sound kinda silly knowing how much time and money i've spent on Martial Arts, Gymnastics and Parkour right? Maybe it's because keeping active is something I simply cannot live without. The days after training from the night before had always been the most productive days, my body would ache but not itching for me to move away from the computer and my mind would feel much sharper and fresh. I guess what i'm trying to say is, this is something I know I love and I'm willing to waste my much valued time and money for it. It might be a mistake but i'm still gonna walk this way without regreds.

Another thing that's been saddens me is how there's so many people i know with a lot of heart and soul yet they don't seem to get the opportunity they deserve. Life it's not really fair is it? There's so many people out there who work so damn hard to provide so little for their family yet. Society is so fucked up. there's people out there who can earn 10 times more then someone who work twice the hours. It's so sad work seem to rule our lives. Anyway I'm getting tired and I think i'm rambling...

Work work work

Following my last post about work going well, my girlfriend today asked me "Aren't you going a bit over the top with this work thing"?  It turns out I work around 60 - 70 hours a week, there's at least 2 days a week where I work from when I wake up to when i go to sleep... is that a bit too much?

I'm working this hard because I really want to be able to buy an apartment by end of this year. I've wanted to have my own proper place for a few years now, I've moved 9 times in the last 8 years and I hope the next place I live in would be nice place. I'm working so many hours must mean I'm saving up pretty nicely right? wrong!!! I don't know how the fuck I do it, but through out March, I earned less then if I work at McDonald? Since I left UK, I'm now working 60% more hours yet earning 25% what i used to!

Pretty clever I managed to get into this mess right? That's the thing about freelancing, right now I have several projects on the go and until they are finished I won't get paid, most of the time the money ain't too bad but I seem to be hitting a new low at the moment. Hence working harder to finish them off. I admit I can be a bit of a workaholic? that's why whenever I'm home i can't seem to switch off and I just work and work but recently it's getting a bit too much for me. I need to get out of the house a bit more.  it's getting pretty depressing when I look forward to going to th doctors just so i can leave the house. I am so bored right now, someone get me a drink!

I was looking for some old photos to use for a project and as i went through my computer I came across so many fond memories of how life used to be like when I had spare time,  Life in London seem such a long time ago. I wonder if I would get that lifestyle back again in HK.

Work going well... too well?

I didn't know if this could be possible, but work seem to be going to well lately, there's more jobs to take on then I have time. Already pushing something like 64 hours work week (it's not as bad as it sounds, I got used to it, never been one for TV or computer games anyway)

The problem is, i never intended to do freelance for this long, I always thought I'd do this for a few months then get me self a proper job, so I could learn more, have some colleagues and generally live life in HK. it's starting to look as if there's no need to get a proper job, I've fairly sure I can support myself with my current workload, most likely better pay then a full time job. I also enjoy the flexible work hours, sleeping til 10 everyday can't be a bad thing. The arguement is that I don't necessarily feel I know enough about the field yet. My ultimate goal is to have my own creative agency and with so much work it's looking as if I'm going toward the right direction, but never really worked inside a creative agency there's only so much i know about the working of one... seems like to dive into it head first is a bit risky, but some of these projects are just too good to pass on. can't say no to the guys I train Parkour with, nor can I say no to a DJ friend/mentor to design a site for a good cause and the latest one is to design for a tattoo artist I admire for a long time.  You see my predicament? there's also 3 other website I had already said Yes to taking on too.....

What should I do? keep on freelancing til I run out of work? or learn to say NO to clients no matter how interesting the project could be?????

I can see what you're doing!

For the first time since I was 9 years old, I could actually see what the hair dresser was doing when I'm getting a haircut - and I still didn't like it...haha

Yes I could have worn contact lens before, but I always had fear of hair going into my eye while getting the haircut and I just didn't fancy that idea. so I would just tell the hair dresser roughly what I'm after and trust his/her skills

Ever since I've been back in HK I might have had around half a dozen hair cuts and each time by a different hair dresser. Now I'm a creature of habit, i like my routines to a certain level and with chores like getting a hair cut I like to stick to the one I get on remotely with that doesn't turn my hair out to be a complete disaster, unfortunately I'm still struggling to find one I like. Not a big deal I'll just keep on looking, but it's also about settling into HK

I can't say I actually enjoy the experience of going to the hair dresser, you sit there like a lemon for 30mins plus waiting for someone to go around your head trying to make me look like everyone else on the street. First of all, sitting there for 30mins is a challenge enough, I had actually fallen asleep while getting a haircut before and the hair dresser didn't like my head nodding away... then there's the whole 'Am I suppose to be chatting to you' I can never work out what the right thing to do is, should i strike up a conversion with them or should i just leave them alone in peace to do their thing? I also stuggle with washing the hair out of my head for days. Even after they rinse your hair out and I go back to shower again, i just can't seem to get rid off all those little pieces of hair and too often wake up the next day with tons of hair on my pillow.

By the way, bored of having hair that pokes into my eye and looking like everyone else, i had taken a step back in time and gone back to the spiky hair thing, i know it's old school and far from trendy but at least I can manage the heat better this way, so what i look stupid, i do that myself anyway

Zapping my eyes with laser

I finally did it, I finally had my eyes lasered which hopefully mean no more glasses! It was one of the scariest thing i had done in my life but now that its over it really was nothing.

I've been wearing glasses since I was 11 yrs old and had dislike them since I was 12. I tried to wearing contact lens but my eyes get dry too easily so I can only wear them for couple of hours at a time. 

A week a go accompanied by Pauline and my Aunt to the hospital for a very efficient check in and  check up the pain began - THE WAITING. It took a good hour before the doctor even arrived! Being extremely nervous and bored didn't work too well for me. Along with everyone else in the room I was really agitated wanting to get it over and done with ASAP

Eventually the first out of two stages of the operation began, which is the cutting off of the flap to the cornea. I didn't actually know what he was doing at the time, so I just listened to his instructions and  tried to keep my eyes looking at the red light, as he went on with aligning some sort of equipment to my eye I was told my vision would go very blurry and misty but that's completely normal. The challenge then became trying to keep looking forward toward the red light without being to see! It was like being told to sticking your arm infront of you completely straight in pitch black! That perhaps was the hardest part of the operation.

With extremely blurred vision I was sat back down in a little room to wait a while before the actual laser zapping. Again WAITING! it was then that i realised he had actually cut my cornea flaps off and there it was are just sitting infront of my eye ball with nothing keeping them there.  Panicking slightly I tried very hard not to move my eyes too much.

About 20 minutes later I went back to the same room now with a different machine set up. I lie back down, some instructments were fixed around my eye . The next stage was rather bizarre as I watched him peel off the cornea flap he removed earlier but I couldn't actually feel anything. The actual laser part was very quick - maybe 30secs. and only half way throught did the doctor decide to tell me not to worry too much about moving my eyes because there's another blue laser tracking my eye so the actual laser can adjust accordingly (Not that I can move very much, but it did feel like my eyes were moving ever so slightly). I would have been so much happier if he told me that before the operation.  Like i was warned I could smell something burning but again I couldn't feel a thing. From start to stop this took less then 5 mins for each eye.

After that I was ready to go back to the little room to rest so they can make sure I'm good to go home. So there I was with uber unfashionable eye guards we made our way home.

For anyone thinking of getting lasered - I would strongely advice make sure you have someone who can drive with you. The journey on public transport was a bit stressful for me. I was told I can use my eyes but they will be very blurred and i should rest them as much as possible, there was also the fact that my eyes were extremely sensitive bright lights at this point so I kept them shut as much as I could. Turning the normal 10mins walk back to the train station turned into a 30min stubble with Pauline and my aunt guiding me very slowly across a number of traffic lights, road works and lamp posts, after another 40min train journey we were finally home. I was much happier being back where I did a relatively good job at navigating around apart from smacking my shin into a coffee table once. It was rather strange when you can't rely on your eyes. It made it rather difficult to concentrate, I never realised how much noise they were or how bumpy roads can be.
I really could not thank Pauline and my aunt enough for getting me home in one piece and making sure I was fed

 The next several hours I would say were the hardest part of the whole ordeal - the staying still, trying to relax and trying not to move my eyes around too much. The problem was this operation was so fast (maybe less then an hour ignoring all the waiting around) and I was not tried in the slightest! I didn't feel like sleeping at all. I was more bored then anything else. My eyes were water very badly and it did hurt slightly but it wasn't exactly painful - just a bit uncomfortable like wearing a pair of thick, uncomfortable and dry contact lens. I wanted to be working or watching TV.... the night was difficult since I was so conscience I have to sleep on my back and not touch my eyes. but now less then 24 hours later my eyes are feeling much much better. It was only the intial several hours not knowing how fragile my eyes were (apparently not very) and trying to keep still and staying relaxed that was hard.

A week later I'm fairly happy with my new vision although my hand still reach for my glasses in the morning.

A week later the doctor told me, my right eye was the worst he had seen in terms of bloodiness, but it's no big deal and should all be gone in a week or 2. So please don't let that put you off.

I hope that had been useful to you