It wasn't until I got back to UK did I realised exactly how much i missed everyone and everything. The smile on my parents face, the banter I would have with my mates, the sound of the tube, the silly things I would do or say when I'm with certain friends. It was GREAT to see so many friends and family even if it was only a short time and hell of a rush. My mum hugged me for the first time since god knows when :) and the sensation of being able to walk around all these streets I once wandered alone with Pauline was rather pleasant. I even managed to pretend I know where I'm going most of the time. I tried my hardest to look at London as a tourist but after living there for so many years it was almost impossible.
When I was my friends it was almost like everything clicked and it felt great to be around them, I knew what I was giving up when I left UK but that joy of seeing them again is ALMOST worth leaving for so many months for.
During the days leading up to my trip back to the UK, I noticed I was looking at myself to see what had changed about me. As I know people would be asking me "How you been?" and "What are you doing these days?" I really wanted to be able to tell everyone I had already done this and achieved that, found a great job and now have a steady life in HK with tons of friends, but since I was still working for the same old company as a freelancer working from home, my life was rather limited to sitting at home and working through the day. The only thing that had changed was I now have a steady girlfriend Pauline who came with me to the "Fridge" that is UK and that I hadstarted doing parkour, it excites me and I'm dead proud of being a part of HKPA, I also know it'll excite some of my friends but to most of them I know would think "how old are you? why are you still jumping around and what's the point?" So in a way I really felt I had nothing to tell anyone apart from the fact that the weather for the first 4 months was rather unbearable, I really did not like that feeling. Deep inside I just wasn't willing to be the same person I was 6 months ago, maybe I was asking too much from myself, but i really wanted to proof to everyone that this had been a positive change for me that this is the right decision and it wasn't an as stupid move as some of them had thought.
Six months isn't a particularly long time compare to the various stages of my life - 5 years in high school, 3 years at Uni, 3 years in London...etc. Slightly disappointed how little everything had changed, never did I imagine I would have been freelancing for my old company for so long. I can't quit workout whether it's the job that stop me from doing more with myself, or if it's myself that couldn't let go of the security and stability of letting that job go... which ever it is, it doesn't matter now because that is finally over. Being at university was such a great experience the 3 years felt like it lasted only 1 year but this job felt like I've been doing it for 10 years!
Oh well at least now I have a plan for the next 6 months. which goes a little something like this. Finish the 4 major projects I current have by mid of Feb and be working in a proper office at a design agency by end of Feb! Maybe when I finally have a full time job I would be able to meet my own expectation of life in HK and stop being so stressed :) not to forget the added bonus I would have proof of income and be able to get a credit card and even a mortgage!
